CORNERSTONE FOR K.I.D.S INC (nonprofit) solutions to live.work.play.grow in your community www.Cornerstone4KIDs.org

twitter: @cornerston4kids

SOLUTIONS: Age 10 - 15
Where the sidewalk ends.....Cornerstone For K.I.D.s begins
Need: "What can I do when my child is defiant?" Try this: ALLOW YOUR K.I.D. TO BE AN ADULT You may say "Whaaat??? However, studies prove that most of our K.I.D.S have high intelligence in at least one if not many areas. Typically these are strategy and logic. Defiance is a point of view....a judgment of a behavior. When a child refuses to do something, often with harsh words like "That's stupid, or Your/He's and idiot"...consider they might actually have a point. If your brother, friend or adult child refused to follow a demand or called someone stupid, you would brush it off chock it up to "right to have an opinion". Usually this is reserved for your adult peers. Consider though that in testing, these K.I.D.S. are often testing off the charts in intelligence and it is measured by age. For instance, a twelve year old may have a report that in certain areas, he tested on the level of a college student. Consider that your K.I.D. has few interactions where you or anyone else relates to him/her as a a college kid or an adult. It's not surprising that in many programs that work, they are based on "relationship models." Your K.I.D. needs ample space to be an independent thinker. It is intuitively crazy to look at a twelve year old and relate to them as an adult. Yet, I encourage you to try it. In as many situations as you can, relate to your child as an adult. It is important to give your child space to be exactly who they are. There will be times when your K.I.D. is acting like a toddler and this is NOT the time for this technique. However, any other time, find out what premise the K.I.D. is looking from and honor and respect their view. You wouldn't demand your adult college K.I.D. to take on your own view...in fact, you accept it as "normal." Treating your K.I.D. like this will increase their bond with you. They are unique individuals and this is one of those things that makes them special. Capitalize on it whenever you can. If this still is hard for you to take on...consider this. When your K.I.D. at age 4 had "trouble with transitions" you knew something was different. Your K.I.D. wouldn't move from activity to activity after 20-30 minutes like the rest of the K.I.D.s. Consider that your child had the attention span of a teenager at age 4. This would be consistent with the testing at age twelve that puts them in an adult range. (Provided by Patty Pratt, founder of C4KIDS and mother of HFA K.I.D.) Need: "What can I do when my child is constantly constipated?" Try this: LOCATE A "PEDIATRIC" GI to rule out/in a very common diagnosis. Constipation is a very common problem in K.I.D.S. You may be dealing with a medical condition that interferes with the K.I.D.'s ability to sense when it is time to go to the bathroom. Look up Encopresis. Only a Pediatric GI can accurately diagnose and prescribe treatment for severe constipation if it is related to a childhood developmental disorder. Try your local University Children's Hospital. Need: "What can I do for Constipation and Stomach issues?" Try this: DEMAND Digestion Science Projects in EVERY grade level. Every year from Kindergarten through high school K.I.D.S should be taught about the digestion system. It is no secret that K.I.D.S have "bathroom issues". Every year the digestive system should be a several week unit for K.I.D.S. When they are finally developmentally old enough, they will have the knowledge they need to help themselves. Need: "What if I see Destructive Behaviors are getting worse?" Try this: ACT NOW or it may be too late! If you think your K.I.D. is too severe to thrive in the community without close supervision, have your child evaluated by a facility like Forest Heights Lodge. If they are not the solution for your K.I.D. their website and wealth of information in residential treatment services might be the key to a complete turn around in your child's life. Don't succumb to the words of school personnel that there are "no other options". There are! They may not know of them or they may simply be trying to balance a budget. Early intervention is CRITICAL. Once a K.I.D. with destructive behavior ages to 14, getting good intervention is much more difficult. ACT NOW! Hire an attorney if needed. Attorneys for special needs kids know exactly where facilities are located and how to place your child there. Remember "Are you more attached to having your child live at home...or to be well?" Most programs are only 2 years and can make a complete turn around. No parents are skilled enough or have enough time to give the 24/7 care that is needed to make the difference. Do your homework. Only a few facilities actually work. Look for relationship model programs rather than behavioral or "boot camp" type facilities. Studies show that soothing the developmentally delayed behaviors actually produce optimal results rather than exacerbating them with combative or laborious behavior training which can makes things worse. Ask your special needs attorneys. Always get multiple legal advice. Good attorney's will tell you how to handle an I.E.P....and then represent you if school officials fail....avoid attorney's that want to attend I.E.P's for thousands of dollars. School districts must pay legal fees if they do not follow state and federal laws. An hour or 2 in the attorney's office should give you enough time to find out what services you can demand on your own....and will save you thousands.

P.O. Box 990 Hermosa Beach, CA 90254

Intended outcome: --->K.I.D.s live, work, play and grow in our communities. Thank you for visiting. Many changes are in the works in a community near you....come back and see!